I’ll just cut to the chase with this one. I’m a 22-year-old girl and I can eat more than you. I can, I do and I will.
Honestly, I can eat a Chipotle burrito in under 5 minutes and within an hour I’m out buying french fries or ice cream. Or maybe a Snickers bar. If you’re not familiar with Chipotle, let’s just say that they don’t wrap their burritos, they swaddle them. They’re the size of a healthy infant.
I know what you’re thinking. “Yeah sure, she’s just another girl who thinks it’s cute to tell everyone she eats SOOO much”. Giggle, giggle, hair flip, wink.
Yeah well, I’m not. Just the facts, people.
I’m the girl who eats all the pizza at the pizza party and then breaks out the chips and dip. The girl who gets a large salad at work and then has to buy a second lunch to get through the day.
Some people deal well with hunger. Some people even forget to eat. (freaks) Must be nice, because I’m a scary person when I’m hungry. Horrifying really. If I haven’t eaten in a few hours you do not want to know me. Feed me or get out of my way.
Maybe it’s low blood sugar, or maybe it’s the obese demon in my belly. I’m not sure. But my friends and ex boyfriend can all tell you: Make sure she eats. My roommate even packs snacks when we go out. I’M NOT JOKING.
The jury is still out on whether this is an endearing or disgusting quality in a 125 lb., 5’8″ girl. Some guys are impressed, others horrified. But that’s why I adhere to a strict policy of getting the fattest thing on the menu on dates. This is a no salad zone. Not only would getting anything lettuce-based be a huge joke, but I would be hungry in 30 minutes. The poor guy deserves to know that the sweet girl across from him is really a human garbage disposal. And if you’re not man enough to watch me eat a Philly cheesesteak and fries and then seriously consider dessert, then keep moving buddy.
That’s really all I have to say about that.