Wipeout

I don’t have a single sadistic bone in my body, but I absolutely adore ABC’s show Wipeout. It may not have the most intellectual or artistic merit of the shows on TV, but it has me laughing for a full 60 minutes (yes, even through commercial breaks).

wipey-awards

Call me ridiculous, but I think there is something fundamentally hilarious about people who sacrifice their bodies on the national altar of dignity to get walloped by inanimate objects. It really makes me laugh. And when I say laugh, I mean high-pitched from the tips of my toes laughter.

Picture 8

The sound effects as the contestants careen into huge balls and spinning platforms have me howling at the television. Part of me knows that these people have to be in pain, but the more dominant part of me couldn’t care one bit — this is quality mindless television. Sign me up.

Some would say that the success of this show indicates the deterioration of the country’s intellect. I don’t know if that’s the case. I think Wipeout is successful because it’s a modern take on good old-fashioned slapstick. Americans think all day at work — they deserve to come home and laugh at someone else’s expense.

Rock on Wipeout.

Sea turtles

I admire sea turtles. I admire the babies turtles who make it to the sea despite all the odds being stacked against them.

I admire the mother sea turtles who haul themselves out of the sea, and who labor for days to build a nest for the babies that may not live to see daylight. I admire their faith. I hope I would do the same.

But, oh, those poor little turtles! Can you imagine what it’s like to be tiny and scared, fresh from the egg that has been your home for weeks, and as you step into the open air your first act on the earth is to fight for your life?

Watching those tiny turtles make a mad dash for the ocean as birds, crabs, and all other sorts of predators swarm in to eat them nearly brings tears to my eyes.

They are so fragile and tiny! What a horrible impression of the world they must have!

sea-turtle

Perhaps it is the promise of what lies ahead that propels their tiny flippers across the sand. If mother nature promised me a long life of freedom within the protection of the sea, well, I guess I would run too.

I  envy turtles. I envy their peaceful years in the ocean. Having survived their harrowing birth, I imagine the rest of their lives are relatively easy. At least I hope so. I hope turtles ride the currents of time and the open ocean with little more to think about than their next meal.

Sometimes I feel like a baby sea turtle. Only I don’t have a shell to protect me, or the soothing tide of the ocean waiting for me at the end of my journey. Perhaps that’s only fair — I was born into a soft, warm, loving world. Now it’s my turn to struggle to the finish line.

What is happiness?

I know that being happy is important — in fact it’s the most important thing there is. But what is happiness and why is it that we all know we want it but so few of us know how to get it?

Well, thankfully, someone was wise enough to actually study it.

The Atlantic Magazine recently published an article about the Grant Study in which Harvard researchers followed 268 male Harvard students over the course of 72 years — from the time they entered college in the 1930s until now. The study examines the lives of the men; their experiences, successes, and hardships to see just what constitutes happiness.

You might be surprised that the Harvard grads who found happiness, found that it was in no way related to their careers or success.

happy-elephant-01

Here’s an excerpt from the story:

“Vaillant’s other main interest is the power of relationships. “It is social aptitude,” he writes, “not intellectual brilliance or parental social class, that leads to successful aging.” Warm connections are necessary—and if not found in a mother or father, they can come from siblings, uncles, friends, mentors. The men’s relationships at age 47, he found, predicted late-life adjustment better than any other variable, except defenses. Good sibling relationships seem especially powerful: 93 percent of the men who were thriving at age 65 had been close to a brother or sister when younger. In an interview in the March 2008 newsletter to the Grant Study subjects, Vaillant was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response: “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”

Watch the video….
Grant Study Findings

Sin, if it makes you happy

As far as my grandparents are concerned, my brother is a sinner — a big, fat, stinking sinner.

At the ripe, young age of 19 my brother is living 10 hours away with his equally under-aged girlfriend.

The kid has more responsibilities than he has hairs on his face.

They’ve leased a two bedroom apartment, and for all intents and purposes have started a life together. She is working as a nanny while he finishes up his degree in chemistry at William & Mary.

Think what you will — I know it’s weird, premature, scary, etc, etc. But my brother came home today to visit and I have never seen him so happy. He literally waltzed into the house singing and threw his gangly arms around our mother.

So maybe they’re moving too fast, maybe society and God (grandma and grandpa) will not understand, but who cares? Does antiquated religious doctrine really apply to a young man whose soul mate may not live into her 30s? Can’t the rules be bent for a little girl whose life is being destroyed slowly by cystic fibrosis?

I want so much for my brother — my little brother — the smart-mouthed sweetheart who I helped raise. I used to want the normal course for him — drunken college nights, on and off girlfriends, naivety, and all the time in the world. That, however, turned out not to be in the cards for him.

So I’ve learned to go with it. I’ve learned to trust that he knows what’s best for him. He has taught me not to worry and figure the rest out later. He has taught me that life is short, and to do what makes you happy before it’s too late.

Isn’t that all you can hope for in life? To be happy even just for a brief moment in time? That’s what I’ve learned from my brother. At 17 he had already committed his life to his terminally ill girlfriend. He has defied convention, tradition, and my grandmother to spend as much time as he possibly can with the love of his life.

He’s not afraid to do what makes his heart sing and his days worthwhile. I am so proud of him.

Here’s a short story I wrote about my brother and his girlfriend: the two bravest people I know.

Kyle and Beth lean over the glass case in Kay Jewelers, both of their faces just inches from the surface. Kyle puts his hand on the small of Beth’s back, and they share an excited smile. Beth begins to cough and Kyle moves his hand between her shoulders as she rocks up and down.

The woman behind the counter walks slowly over to them. She half-smiles.
“Are you looking for promise rings?” the woman asks them, her voice filled with disdain.

Kyle looks at her and straightens his back. His 19-year-old face becomes serious. He sets his square jaw.

“We’re looking for engagement rings,” he tells her.

He smiles again at Beth, and puts his arm around her frail shoulders. They continue to look through the glass, their heads almost touching.

Kyle’s 21-year-old sister stands silently behind them. This is the fifth jewelry store they’ve visited, and she still can’t believe this is happening. She has never seen him so happy.

Kyle and Beth give up the search for the day, and head back to his parent’s house. It’s time for Beth’s second session of physical therapy of the day. Kyle sits on the couch, and Beth lies on her stomach across his lap. Kyle begins to pound on her back as Beth coughs.

This is part of Beth’s treatment. Beth has Cystic Fibrosis. She is terminally ill.
Since they were 13 years old, there has been no one else for Kyle and Beth.

Kyle is in his second year at The College of William and Mary in Virginia, and Beth lives at home in Rhode Island. Despite it all – the distance, the illness, and the pressure of Kyle’s chemistry major, they have never been more in love, or more determined to make a life together.

If they are lucky, Beth will live to be 30 years old. Kyle’s plan is for them to get married right after he graduates from college. If they are lucky Beth will get pregnant shortly thereafter and they will start a family. At some point, before he is 30 years old, Kyle will be a single father and a widower.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

On the couch, as Kyle pounds Beth’s back he says something that makes her laugh, and her bubbly laugh fills the house. But it quickly turns into a horrifying coughing fit. Kyle waits for the coughing to stop and then leans down and kisses her on the forehead. He gets up and fishes a handful of pills out of her pocketbook and hands them to her.

In the kitchen, Kyle’s sister stands hugging their mother. Tears run down their cheeks, because they know that some day the laughing will stop forever and Kyle’s happiness will end.

An ode to Huey

My dog has it made.

He can lay around licking himself, contributing nothing to the household and at the end of the day we all still adore him. He smells, he whines when we ignore him, and his hobbies consist of pressing his saliva-drenched toys onto your feet until you throw them and peeing.

n5515565_30207310_9557

Sometimes he humps stuffed animals at family functions. We shake our heads and laugh.

He knows what’s up. He owns this joint. He can bang stuffed biddies in our family room all he wants — he’s a dog and he’s got it made.

He averages at least 18 hours of sleep a day and nobody thinks twice about letting him take a snooze in the middle of the floor. We step over him with a smile and bend down to scratch his head. He sleeps on our heads and snores.

He has a wardrobe and his own hair products. He goes to the groomer more than I go to the hairdresser. He’s the first one we greet when we come home and the last person we say goodnight to before bed.

Can you imagine, in this economy he can just lay around and do nothing all day? Well, that’s just it.

My dog has it made.

When my dad cooks pancakes or hamburgers he makes a mini one for Huey. Complete with all the toppings.

When it’s raining or snowing he insists on wearing his bright red coat before going outside. We oblige him.

We don’t begrudge the stinky mongrel a thing. He loves every one of us unconditionally and profoundly. Every time one of us comes home he greets us like we’ve just returned from 10 years at sea. He is the perfect companion, he will always listen and will always be there, just as happy as ever. Seeing him with his crooked smile and his snaggle tooth never fails to make us smile.

He knows when we’re sad and knows when we’re happy, he fits seamlessly into the fabric of our family and for all he knows he’s a human.

Doesn’t he deserve it all?